Like a Light Switch

Hooray! The morning sickness is gone!! It is the strangest thing. One day I was nauseated all afternoon and the next day I felt great and have felt great ever since. I am beginning to feel like myself again and I am so glad! I am now anxiously awaiting the baby belly. I am guessing/hoping that in the next three or four weeks I will have outward signs of pregnancy. I want to tell everyone I encounter that I am pregnant. Brandon keeps telling me that once I get the belly I'll be bitching about it, but for some reason I don't think I will dislike it at all.

My Pants are Tight!

I wore my first pair of maternity pants this week. I think that it may be that I just can't wear the particular jeans I had on that morning anymore. I got dresses for work sat down to eat my cereal and I couldn't breathe. I had to make a quick change so I went for the maternity jeans. Very comfy all day. Luckily I do still have two pairs of jeans that are loose enough to still wear. I guess I need to start thinking about clothes...

I also ordered a maternity swimsuit. The bottoms fit GREAT, which is usual for me, but the top is a little small. I mean in the boob area, go figure. They haven't grown, but geeze do the people who make these swimsuits think that the belly is the only thing that grows????

12 Week Appointment - 5 Days Early

We went back to the Dr today! I was expecting all day to hear the baby's heartbeat. Well, when he came in he said it was probably a little to early to hear it so we'd look at it! He drags an Ultra Sound machine in the room and all of the sudden there's a little guy with a little blinking heartbeat! WOW! It was incredible even though it barely resembles a baby at this point it was still amazing and it made it SO real. I am now relieved and thrilled. Dr. Binder says the baby is the right size for it's gestational age and it looks like it's supposed to. Yay!!!

Fear

I have a constant fear that something is going to go wrong. I guess that's normal for first time pregnancies or maybe even tenth time pregnancies - I suppose. It is hard to put my finger on why my mind goes to some of the places it does. I often wonder, what if something goes wrong and I don't know, or I can't get to the doctor in time, or I can't stop it? What if I go to my next appointment and they can't find a heart beat? What if I go to use the bathroom and I am bleeding? Is that little cramp I feel a growing pain, or gas, or is something wrong? I am wearing myself out, and I am so full of what ifs that I feel like I am making my nausea worse with my worries.

I read that once you hit ten weeks your chance of miscarriage goes down to less than 2%. Which is great so I am anxiously awaiting Sunday. But then I worry about my cervix dilating too early because of the conization I had five years ago.

I had pre cancerous lesions on my cervix and had to have a conization to get rid of the affected tissue. It was basically borderline cervical cancer, but since then, every thing has been great. All of my pap smears have been normal. At the time I was told that having a portion of my cervix removed could cause it to be incompetent, therefore resulting in a miscarriage, but also I could have absolutely no problems at all. He also said at that time that it might come down to simply putting a stitch in my cervix to hold it closed.

He didn't seem to be concerned at all. He asked how long it had been since the conization (he did the surgery back in 2004) and he just said we'd keep an eye on it. WHAT?!?! I wanted to say can you just put a stitch in there just in case something goes wrong? I didn't though I am tempted to at my next appointment. I guess I should just put it out of my mind for now and just make sure he checks my cervix at each appointment which I would guess that's what he means by saying we'd keep an eye on it.

Cleaning

I know it's early, but we've already started to clean the baby's room out. Since we moved in eight months ago our "front room" has been the catch all. If one of us didn't know what to do with something the answer was put it in the front room. It also had things still boxed from the move! UGH! But I made a HUGE dent in it tonight.

It sort of makes me nervous to designate a "baby room". It still just seems strange and doesn't even seem real at times. I think I've finally gotten over saying it and that doesn't seem so weird anymore, but the thought of having a little person that we are completely responsible for in 7 months is SCARY!! As time goes on and I start to show and feel the baby I am sure I won't be as freaked out. I am sure I'll be fine. I started baby sitting when I was 15 so I sort of feel like I might have a clue as to what I am doing, but this is going to be OUR little person! WOW

Funny Feelings

Aside from feeling nauseated all the time, I just feel weird. It's sort of like I am not quite myself. I don't really know how to explain it. I am ridiculously indecisive (a little strange for me), my taste buds are whacked out, and I can freaking smell things a mile away. I keep trying to remind myself that I am growing a human, but it still doesn't seem real. I guess part of that is all the damn things that I worry about. Maybe once I feel the baby I won't worry so much.

I am so overly emotional that I don't know what to do with myself. I had to bring Rexx to the Vet this morning knowing good and well I had to leave him there and I cried like a damn baby when I got in my car without him.

I just keep trying to coax myself into relaxing at the same time as trying to convince myself I am not going to puke too. It's exhausting!

Morning...er...Afternoon Sickness

I am trying to figure out exactly why it's called morning sickness. I suppose because the majority of women are feeling nasty in the morning. Well lucky me, I get to be one of the odd men out and feel like crap at the prime of my day! I wake up feeling fantastic and ready to start my day. No problems brushing my teeth, no problems eating breakfast or showering. My mornings are great. I work, I eat lunch and then about one or two it hits me. BLAHKY! Its so frustrating because once I get nauseated then I get tired and all I can concentrate on is not puking at work and getting home to take a nap. It makes for a pretty exhausting afternoon.

I have to say though the amount of time I feel yucky seems to be getting less day after day. I hope I don't jinx myself with this, but today I really only felt bad for about an hour and a half. Last week it was hours on end - so I guess there is hope in sight. Another thing I hope for is that I really don't remember at the end how crappy I felt in the beginning....

First Appointment

Today was my first appointment and Brandon came along. It wasn't very eventful. I talked to probably fourteen different people about five thousand different things. I had a well woman exam which I found to be interesting, but he said since I had one six months ago and I won't have another for nine months and given my history he said this was the time to do one. I complained abut the nausea and he said it was good that I am nauseated. He said that means things are progressing well. I have all the signs. I could definitely do without the nausea, but it comes with the territory. I will go back four weeks from today and hopefully hear the heartbeat. He told me at 12 weeks we'd be able to hear it. I'll only be 11 weeks though so hopefully I won't have to wait another four to hear it!

The other thing that really excited me today was how interested Brandon is. He seems like he wants to come to every appointment with me. I really wasn't expecting that from him, but I am in NO WAY complaining about it. He made sure I made my next appointment on a Tuesday so that he wouldn't have any interference with work and would be able to make it! It's so awesome and I am so VERY lucky!

So after two cups of pee, ten tubes of blood, and information overload, I am due on January 17th!

How We Found Out

It all started with my boss breaking one of his molars and having to go to the dentist. It apparently was a tooth that had been bothering him for a while and he ignored it. Well, I had the same kind of thing going on with one of my molars. I decided I didn't want to risk breaking the tooth so I made an appointment to see my dentist. On the drive home that afternoon I suddenly thought "I am almost two weeks late!" I had told myself a week earlier that I was going to wait until my intersession class was over to take a home test because I really didn't want any thing else on my mind, but I needed to know because of the x-rays that I was going to have to have during the root canal that I was scheduled to have the next morning.

So when I got home from work I decided to take a home test. Brandon wasn't home yet, but I but i sort of thought it wouldn't be positive because in April I was a week late and I really thought I was pregnant and turned out to be very disappointed when I started. I hadn't put the test on the floor before there was big huge blue plus sign! I couldn't believe it and I instantly started laughing. A few minutes later Brandon got home. I didn't really know what to say so I just brought him to the bathroom and showed him the test. He said "What does that mean?" When I said it means I am pregnant he said - no it doesn't! Then he said do you have another one? Take it again! I took a little trip to the pharmacy and got another test and drank three bottles of water in the next hour so I could pee again. He believed it after the second test but we were still pretty shocked.

We said at that moment we weren't going to tell anyone until I went to the doctor first. We couldn't stand it! The first person we told was my dad. I wanted him to know first since I wasn't going to be able to tell him in person. He was super excited and said "I hope it's a boy!" We then went to my moms and told her, my sister, grandmother, and my stepdad. We made our way through Brandon's family and we decided we weren't going to tell anyone else. By that time we were way too excited and couldn't hold it in any more so we started calling everyone!

My first appointment is on Monday and I can't wait! I am not sure it will be all that exciting because I am not exactly sure what will go on. I imagine because of my history he will do a pelvic exam, and I am sure that I will have a hundred questions. The only thing I am nervous about is being termed high risk right off the bat because of the surgery I had in 2004. Hopefully since it's been five years there won't be any cervical incompetency. I am going to keep my fingers crossed!

I TOTALLY SUCK AT THIS

I am going to try to catch up soon. Everything is kicking my ass right now...

Dr Visit Today

I had my four week post op appointment this morning. To get the stitches taken out and to get my last cast for the last two weeks of my non weight bearing period. I also decide to drive today, because I can do everything else why can't I drive?
As Dr R is busily removing my stitches, I ask him what are my chances of him letting me out of the cast before Christmas, because the worst he can say is no...
He says ok, come back next Tuesday and you can go into your boot and start working on range of motion exercises but you just can't walk on it until the 29th. I say awesome and I am very excited about it.
He continues removing the stitches and it is sort of not feeling too good because they have been in there for four weeks and I am sure there is some skin attached to the stitches at this point.
Then he says, do you have your boot? I say um no, it is not like I carry it around in my car with me?? He say, well lets do that today instead of next week, that way you don't have to worry about coming in next week. I am absolutely elated and I really don't want to ask any questions because I don't want him to change his mind!
So I get steri-strips over my incision, and a little ace bandage around my foot and he says go home and get your boot before you do anything else. NO PROBLEM!
I do still have stipulations and limitations. I am still non weight bearing for two more weeks, but without a cast that is going to breeze by! I can take a shower, but I can't submerge my foot in water and I have to start PT on the 29th! I am totally ok with this because all of it means no more cast on my leg! No more itching, no more skin build up, no more uncomfortableness, no more fiberglass cutting my leg!
I can't even begin to explain how excited I am!

Goings On

Well, things have been EXTREMELY busy. I just finished my first semester at LSU and possibly have all A's! Yay me! It was a very grueling semester. I had LOTS of outside work to do for my classes and lots of projects and paper and other stuff due all on the same day! I often asked myself how could LSU possibly be harder than BRCC, but somehow it is. Maybe it is because the majority of my classes were concentration courses...I don't know. The good news is that I am done until January 12th and I am thrilled. More good news is that the foot is doing great! I only have 2 weeks and 4 days left in this stupid cast. It really has gone by so quickly, and I am so glad. The last one seemed to drag on FOREVER. Perhaps it is just because things are so busy right now that I am just not thinking about it. Whatever it is, I am glad that it has been so quick.
The house is fantastic. We love it more everyday. Brandon got our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving so we have everything decorated and it is just great! I am a little bummed though. We decided that since we bought the house we were only going to buy presents for a few people this year and that is no fun. I want to buy for everyone that I normally buy for, but I have to resist! Brandon and I said we weren't going to by for each other either, but I am having a hard time doing that too!

Finally...a Little More Relaxed

The nausea is finally completely gone and the pain is now starting to subside. Of course now my back is killing me! I don't know if it is from the crutches or if is from being in bed so much. I really have tried to move around more to get used to the crutches. Funny thing is that I don't feel like I ever got off of the crutches! UGH! This is really the worst part about it. I mean the pain sucked, but I can mask that with pain pills....there is no masking the crutches! Once I go back to work the time is going to fly and before I know it will be over. I am a little concerned about school. I do have the option to use Stan's scooter and as lazy as it sounds I probably will. I just don't think there is any other way for me to do it at school. I absolutely can't walk that far on crutches.
Brandon seems to be getting a little more annoyed with me a little easier this time. Perhaps it is because he is trying to quit smoking again or maybe because there is so much to do in the house and I am not able to help him now. I don't know what it is.

Long Road

The last few days have really drug by. This is really helping me get the things done that I need to get done for school though. The pain is a little better today. I am still nauseated and somethings still are exactly back to normal. I am still getting little bouts of dizziness too, but I guess that could also be from the sinus issues I am having. Anesthesia does weird shit to your body. I want to eat so bad, but nothing is appealing and when I do eat I get full very quickly. Which is really not that terrible considering I eat way too much on a regular basis! I am definitely not going to starve! I don't really have too many pictures to post. I do have some post cast of my right foot that I never posted that I will maybe put up this week. I wish I had something exciting to talk about like everyone else does. I just seem to be a big ball of complaints! Things will start progressing this week hopefully. It is not as painful when I move my toes as it was the first day, of course I am only 3 days post op. It seems like so much longer than that! I was really hoping this one was going to fly by with the time of year. I am always so much busier in the fall than any other time of year. Perhaps it will start moving once I get back to work and class. Speaking of class I have so much stuff to do that I need to stop rambling here and get to that!

Pressure

All I feel is pressure. It feels like the cast is so tight, but just around my foot! I am sure it is due to swelling. Dr. R told Brandon that as long as he could move my toes without me screaming that there was no problem with swelling. I have been sick to my stomach all day today. Not sure why. Probably all of the drugs that are in my system and the fact that I don't really have much of an appetite. Imagine that, me not eating! As much as I love food! My mom brought me a burger for lunch today and I think I took four bites of it. I kind of had to force myself to eat this evening. I don't know if I rested enough yesterday when I got home from the hospital. I got right into bed, but I folded clothes and I did some work for school and moved around a lot. They actually told me to move around as much as I could in order to get the anesthesia out of my system. I don't know...it all seems different to me. Brandon and Leslie say I am the same as I was last time. I was pretty grouchy with both of them today and I know all they are trying to do is make me feel better so I feel a little bad about being so bitchy. Hopefully my belly will feel better tomorrow and I'll be able to finish my project that is due for one of my classes on Monday!

Today was the day...

At 9:20 this morning surgery on the left foot began. It only took about an hour and ten minutes this time, instead of the long two hours on the right foot. I was home by noon in quite a bit pain. I am sort of confused as to why the pain is so much worse this time. Same surgery, less time, not as much tugging on my tendon, no hole drilled in the bone, and still more pain. Perhaps it is because I was under for less time so I don't have as much anesthesia in my system. The Lortab seems to be kicking in at this point so hopefully the pain will lessen through the night. It was definitely a relief not having to climb stairs to get to my bed. It was VERY easy to get into the house. I am still a little wobbly because I don't exactly have all of my strength back in my right foot. Dr. R says this will help strengthen my foot significantly. We'll see. The good news is there is no pain at all in the right foot so that is what I have to look forward to. I keep trying to remind myself that each day it is going to get better. So the count down to getting my cast off begins again. Exactly six weeks from today I will be back in the boot. Now I have to think about what color my next cast is going to be!!

Gearing Up

I totally suck at this blogging stuff. I have been SUPER busy over the last two months. Most important thing is that we bought our first house!!! We are thrilled. We are busy trying to get things in the house straight. We have new furniture being delivered on Tuesday! The most important thing this week is to get the rest of the little items left in the apartment to the house. Then we have to get things in the house all done because my next surgery is scheduled in two weeks, so here we go again...

Waiting for Gustav

I know it has been a while and lots of things have gone on. No crutches has been great! I haven't had to use them at all. In fact when I am at home I walk around without my boot. I feel like that is a good way to get some strength back. I am still going to PT twice a week and it really is great. My foot doesn't hurt anymore when I am done so that is definitely a positive. We tailgated this weekend for a little while and it didn't bother me at all. I walked around a lot and danced some and I didn't have any residual pain so I was very happy about that. I was supposed to go to my doctor on Tuesday morning but I am guessing that is not going to happen with the crappy ass hurricane that is coming our way. I am just hoping that it is not as bad as has been predicted. We are starting to get rain now and we are under a tornado watch until 7am. I guess getting an extra day off of work is not so bad! Honestly I'd rather go to work than have a damn hurricane. We are staying in our apartment because we have Roy, Max, Coletta, and Tabasco staying with us. I know that's a lot of people in a little apartment, but we are making it work. We have plans for just in case there is a tornado and also if we have to get out of here in a hurry. HOPEFULLY that does not happen! We are keeping a close watch and I am predicting we are going to be up most of the night. The wind really hasn't started blowing a whole lot yet, but I know it is coming. They are predicting 24 hours of tropical storm force winds. So we are bracing for the weather and starting our hurricane party!

NO MORE CRUTCHES

So again it has been a while, but we've been pretty busy. I have now been walking completely free of the crutches for almost a week. Sometimes it is still painful depending on how much I move around in the day, but I am SO glad to be free of those things! I don't even walk with them anymore when I don't have my boot on, which is not very often because that is my ONLY restriction from my Dr. My PT has told me to get in the pool as much as I can. I think that is what helped me to get off the crutches. We were in Destin last week and I spent most of my time in the pool because I couldn't go in the salt water, not that I would have been able to get close to the water without my boot on, but I REALLY think that is what did it. I didn't have to worry about how much weight I was putting on it and I was able to do exercises that I couldn't do out of the pool with my foot. I think walking in the sand perhaps helped too. That was hard as hell! So considering I do have the luxury of a pool I am going to start using it more. Hopefully that is a luxury I won't have much longer. We are STILL on the hunt for a house and it is STILL extremely frustrating, but I am trying to remain positive about it. I still have lots of pictures of the foot to post but I am just lazy right now. Classes start in a little over a week so I won't be able to be lazy for too much longer!

I just walked free of the crutch!

My nephew is in town and he is staying with us this weekend. So far we are having lots of fun. We went down to the pool this morning for about an hour. It was entirely too hot. When we got back Brandon was leaving to go get a few things at work done because of course the Brewery Reps are going to be in town when we are at the beach this week. Anyway, I was in the kitchen making some mac and cheese and I turned around and walked into the laundry room...no crutch...not even thinking about it! I was so excited, I couldn't really believe it. I have been walking most of this week with only one so I guess that has REALLY made a difference. I did tell my PT last week my goal was to be off the crutches for Destin and that might actually be a real possibility now! I am still a little unsure and I don't think I am ready for being without the crutch period, but I am getting close!